Look Around
by MizuxHime
Summary: Mark and Roger slowly begin to see what's really important. PrePostRENT. Mainly MarkRoger. Slight RogerApril and MarkOC Mention of RogerMimi and MarkMaureen.
1. We've Got AIDS

**Disclaimer:** Jonathan Larson owns these lovely characters. Except for my OC.. who doesn't show up yet :x

**A/N:** Uh. Nothing really to say for this chapter. Just the way I wanted to see April's death..

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Roger Davis yawned softly as he sat up in the bed he and his girlfriend, April, shared. He groaned as he noticed that his high from the night before had slowly worn off while he slept and as he sat up. He quickly reached under the bed for his stash and blinked a bit when his hands could only find emptyness. He thought for a moment, trying to recall if him and April had used the rest of that stash the previous night, but couldn't remember.

"_Hm.. maybe April took my stash this morning.._" he thought to himself as he swung his legs over the bed to get up.

He walked out of his room and into the main room of the loft that he shared with April, his best friend Mark Cohen, his girlfriend Maureen Johnson(who seemed to not be around a lot lately.. for some odd reason), their friend Tom Collins(though he had left for MIT), and used to share with Benjamin Coffin III, who left them to marry Alison Grey of the Westport Grey's. Roger snickered under his breath as he thought of his nickname for Alison, Muffy. He pushed the door to his room open and walked over to the couch, sitting down looking over to Mark who was packing up his camera.

"Hey Mark, you see April this morning?" Roger asked the filmmaker.

Mark shook his head as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and picked up his camera. "No," he said.

"Where are you going?" was Roger's next question.

Mark blinked as he turned from the door to the loft. "What is this? Twenty-one questions?" Roger flipped him off and Mark sighed. "I'm going to see Maureen and to work on a new project."

Roger could only let a soft laugh out at that response, which Mark seemingly ignored. Roger had noticed that Mark had become very wrapped up in Maureen ever since he started dating her. He could tell there was something off about her, especially when she was at the loft less and less.. when she technically lived there, and told Mark so many times but had finally given up. It was more frustrating to convince him of Maureen being not the right girl for him than it was to find a cheap fix in Alphabet City. With that he stood up and pushed past Mark through the door of the loft into the slightly cold hall.

"If you see April, tell her I'm-" Roger started before being cut off by a tap on the shoulder.

"You're...what?" a feminine voice asked, light, musical, with a hint of laughter.

Roger smiled as he turned around to wrap April in his arms and watch Mark roll his eyes as he made his way down the stairs to leave. He placed a kiss on top of April's head and then remembered he needed to tell her what he was going to do.

"Oh, I was just going to say I was going on the roof," he said. "Care to join me?"

April shook her head and Roger noticed something was different about her, she didn't seem as.. musical and herself as she always was. It was like a part of her died, but like himself, April wasn't one to speak her mind. So he didn't push it, he simply asked one question before heading up to the roof.

"Did you take the little bit of our stash out from underneath the bed this morning? Or did we use that up last night..?" he asked.

"Used it last night," April said as she pulled on the heavy door to the loft. "Geeze Rog, you were really out of it huh?"

Roger laughed a bit and nodded as he turned away and towards the stairs leading up to the roof. "I'll be up there for like an hour, okay?" he said. April nodded.

"I'm gonna take a bath or something, so I'll be out when you come down," she said walking inside. Roger couldn't help but note the dejected, sad tone of her musical voice. But he pushed the thought out of his mind.

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Roger sighed softly as it started to rain about a half hour into his quiet time on the roof. For once, since he started dating April, he actually thought he'd work on a song. Even without his out of tune guitar, and without his notebook filled with doodles and scribbled out song lyrics. Just the quiet of the roof top was enough to at least get _some_ thought going through his head. Sometimes he wondered if the smack was really starting to get to him. He walked down the stairs just he noticed Mark coming up them, Maureen-less. Roger just smirked and Mark glared, but Roger was too quick for the filmmaker.

"No Maureen, huh?" Roger asked, the tone of his voice cocky. "Kinda funny to even say she lives here."

"She's working on a performance," Mark said.

"Sure. A performance. You call it that.. pookie," Roger said, using Maureen's stupid nickname for Mark against him, ducking into the loft and racing away from Mark before he could attempt do to any damage.

Mark just sighed at Roger and went over to work on whatever his new project was, Roger needed to remind himself to ask Mark about that later, and Roger walked into his room noticing that April wasn't around. He walked over to the bathroom, which was connected to both his and Mark's room and knocked on the door. There was silence. Usually April let the water keep running when she took a bath, and just unplug the drain when the tub got too full. He dismissed the thoughts that ran through his head then knocked on the door again, a bit louder this time.

"April? You okay in there..?" he asked, the playful tone that was in his voice slowly fading, turning cold and scared.

No answer. Now Roger was scared. He reached for the doorknob and found it too be locked, knowing the door on Mark's side would be too. Luckily he learned how shitty the door really was and he thrust up on the knob, turning it at the same time which unlocked it and the door swung open.. and Roger suddenly wished it wasn't that easy. All color drained from Roger's face at that point, it was like he was watching something out of a horror movie. April lying in the tub like a rag doll, her right arm hanging over the edge, hand soaked with blood.. a thin red line present on her wrist. Her left wrist held a similar cut, but it was balanced delicately on the rim of the tub and the wall of the bathroom.

"April!" Roger all but screamed, his eyes tearing up as he raced to her side. Mark quickly raced in to the doorway, eyes wide at what he saw. Roger didn't have to turn around to know that he was already there. "Call 911, quick! Please.." He then saw something out of the corner of his eye as his hand searched for a pulse he knew was no longer there. There was a piece of paper perched on the sink. Roger stood up and picked it up, his hands which were covered with April's blood began to stain the paper.

"_We've got AIDS_"

Roger didn't want to believe what was written on that paper at that point. He didn't want to believe that this disease that April claimed that they had drove her to do this, when she knew they could try and work it it. He did not want to believe that his April. His pillar of strength was so weak. That she was gone. With this newfound strength (or denial, which Roger didn't exactly want to admit to), he was on his knees next to the tub, his hand frantically searching April's neck for a pulse. He did find it, but it was so faint.. barely there. He took her wrists in his hands, gripping them so that what little blood was escaping now would hopefully stop, and he begun to loose it.

"Come on baby.. don't leave me," he whispered to the all but lifeless body. "April.. babe.. we can deal with this. Together... don't leave me.. please God don't leave me alone.."

The words kept coming, quickly becoming jumbled together and lost in between sobs as he heard the sirens outside and Mark rushing into the bathroom to help. It was then Roger snapped back to reality, pushing his body between April and Mark's, jearking his head to the note on the floor. Mark was smart enough not to touch it as he saw the capital letters, eyes widening as he looked to Roger who was still sobbing.. knowing that April had been gone now. He ducked out of the room to the awaiting paramedics. And Roger could hear Mark, even if he was trying to be quiet.. as if not to remind Roger what had taken his love away from him, just in the wrong way.

"_She's HIV positive_."

Roger quietly stepped aside as the paramedics rushed into the room and began to work on April. The rock star was surprised as they worked, sticking the tube down her throat, he clearly thought she was dead. But apparently she had just that ounce of life left. That last ounce to torture Roger, just to give him that false sense of hope that she was coming back. Soon her breathing would stop, and his world would really come crashing down, and they would take her away. And just that happened. Roger just sunk to the cold tiled floor and slammed his head against it as they took her away. He couldn't bare to go with her, that would make it all too real. Mark didn't leave either though, surprising Roger.. if he was even paying attention that is. He felt Mark kneel beside him, not getting too close, just in case. And he looked at him. Roger just cried.

"She can't be gone.. this can't be happening..." Roger mumbled in between sobs.

Mark just couldn't stand to see Roger like that, and slowly moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around the broken rock star, in a tight hug that might have meant more to the both of them under different circumstances. But both dismissed it for now, it wasn't the time or the place to be thinking of such things.


	2. On the Corner

**Disclaimer:** Me no own. I do own the lovely (and slightly insane) Isabella though.

**A/N:** Hm, let's see. This is still PreRENT. I'd place this right before the begining of RENT. Say.. like late November/early December. Next chapter will start the PostRENT part of the fic. A few subtle Mark/Roger hints in this chapter.. slight start of Mark/OC.

_Italics are flashbacks_

_**Bold italics are the answering machine**_

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"Roger, you okay in there..?" Mark asked knocking on the door to Roger's room.

"Yes! I'm fine.. for the fuckin' thousandth time!" came Roger's heated response.

Mark just sighed and moved away from the door and made his way to his camera, picking up the all but forgotten piece of equipment. Ever since April's suicide, Mark and Roger held themselves up in the loft. For Roger it was his way of coping. Not being near Mark, or Collins, or Maureen. But Mark locked himself up in an attempt to help Roger, to keep him sane as he tried to get off the smack, and to stay around just in case Roger became weak and snuck off to get a fix when Mark wasn't keeping a close eye. Mark started up the camera and placed it down, standing in front of it, sighing a bit.

"November 24th, 5:00 P.M. Eastern standard time. Five months since April's death.." he said softly. He lifted the camera up and turned it towards Roger's door. "And five months since Roger went off the smack. He's clean now... He's finally dealing with April.. in his room. Alone."

Mark sighed as he turned the camera off and placed it down in the clean outline on the dusty table where Mark's third eye had taken place in the past five months. Only to be touched once every month. On the anniversary of April's death, or rather the monthly anniversary. Since it hadn't been a year yet. The filmmaker was surprised when he didn't hear one of Roger's sarcastic remarks, just like last month. Even when he was at the worst of his withdrawal, he had something to say about the checking in with the camera. Usually something along the lines of "Fuck off, we know already." But nothing came out of Roger's room. Just silence. Mark thought better than to knock on the door and make sure Roger was breathing in there. He tried that the month before, and it didn't end too well.

_"Rog, you alright? I didn't hear one of your witty, sarcastic comments," Mark had said._

_To Mark's surprise Roger didn't say anything, but opened the door to his room leaning against the door frame, looking like shit to simply put it. It was the first time in two months Mark had seen the former rock star out of the room of his own free will (most of the time was Mark forcing him out). But it wasn't as pleasant as it was when he was clinging to Mark to help him while he was starting to go off the smack (if some of the outbursts could be called pleasant). Roger just pushed Mark away from the door and swayed there for a moment, before unleashing a torrent of emotion at the filmmaker._

_"Just because I don't fucking answer you five minutes after you ask me if I'm okay doesn't mean I went and killed myself, okay!?" he yelled to the smaller man._

_"I just don't want you to leave me, that's all.." Mark said, is voice scared and soft. Roger just wasn't in the state of mind to notice that._

_"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not weak.. not like __**her**__," he said angrily as he walked back into his room and slammed the door shut._

_"__**Her**__." That's how Roger referred to April now, and Mark did too, to some extent. Only when he spoke to their former roommates on the phone. Out of respect for Roger. Mark just sighed letting it stay at that._

Mark was snapped out of his unpleasant flashback as the loud sound of the answering machine broke through his thoughts. His and Roger's voice speaking the one word greeting before the beep.

"_**SPEAK!**_"

"_**Marky? Are you there? How's Roger? He's doing okay right? I mean you and I haven't spoken since we broke up but I just wanted to make sure he wasn't dead or anything. Um, maybe I'll stop by later!**_"

"Maureen.." Mark just sighed as he grabbed the book he was reading from the metal table in the center of the loft and sat down on the couch. He opened the book and tried his hardest not to think of Maureen then. She dumped him. For a lawyer named Joanne, and he had already had enough of Roger's teasing. He had figured the former rock start had earned the right for the various forms of "I told you so" over the last few weeks. It was the happiest he had seen Roger.. even if it was a bitter sarcastic humor that was only given when Roger left is room to take his AZT. As Mark expertly made sure that the medication was outside of Roger's room so he'd at least get out of there. At that thought Mark glanced up at the clock then looked in the direction of Roger's room.

"Roger! AZT!" he shouted at the door. Knowing perfectly well that Roger could hear his normal indoor voice.. Mark figured if he yelled Roger would really listen.

Roger heard him and silently walked out of his room, and Mark just looked up from his book for a moment to make sure that Roger took the AZT. He did and Mark looked back to his book expecting Roger to return to his room. But instead Mark looked up to see Roger standing in front of him, looking down the floor. Something he often did when he didn't want to admit he was wrong, or if he want to say he was sorry, or was embarrassed. Mark looked from his book.

"Hey.. what's up?" Mark said, acting like it was any day way back when. Like nothing had happened.

"I need more AZT," Roger said softly holding out the prescription he had to Mark. Mark took it and got up to go get it and he smiled as Roger spoke again. "Thanks.. for everything. I'm sorry for being such a dick.."

"It's okay. I understand.. that's what I'm here for. I'm your friend after all," Mark said, giving Roger a hug.. that oddly mirrored that "more than just a hug" hug that they shared the night April died. "I'll be back soon. Maybe try and stay out of your room..?"

Roger nodded a bit as Mark grabbed his coat, camera, messenger bag, and scarf and he left the loft. He was in better spirits about leaving the house now. He knew Roger would behave himself, and this gave Mark a reason to do some filming. And he did just that. Every chance he got, he was looking through his camera lens capturing the "beauty" that was New York City, a month away from Christmas. Mark usually took the red lights at the corners to use his camera, and at the last one before the pharmacy he spotted someone in his camera. She was beautiful. Short and looked like she fit right in Alphabet City. A black hat on her blonde head, red highlights in her hair shining in the light. Mark quickly noticed the light changed and rushed forward, hoping the girl hadn't caught him staring. He walked into the pharmacy and waited at the counter for the guy to give him Roger's medication. Mark sighed as the door opened, revealing the girl he had seen. And this up close, he could really tell how beautiful she was.

Her blue-green eyes which were brought out by bright eye makeup were hidden behind black thick rimmed glasses. The hat she was wearing was covered in various pins that supported most of the causes the people in Alphabet City fought for. The homeless, AIDS, better living conditions, ect. Her ears covered in earrings, and she had the most dazzling smile. In all honesty, she looked just like a girl Roger would date. Except, she looked too innocent for him, even if she did look like a bad girl like April. She smiled at Mark and pushed forward a small piece of paper to the guy behind the counter who was seemingly still waiting for Roger's AZT to give to Mark.

"I saw you outside. Filming," she said suddenly and Mark blinked a bit. She was so straightforward. So much like Maureen, and the thought of that left a bad taste in his mouth, but it did take hold of Mark's interest. He nodded.

"Yeah. I'm working on a film. It's about the homeless and people with HIV, and just Alphabet City in general," Mark said, suddenly realize he should introduce himself. "Mark Cohen" he added as he pushed out his hand. The girl shook it.

"Isabella Campbell, like the soup," she said with a soft laugh. "But I prefer Izzy or Bella.. or even Izzybella" she added with another soft laugh.

"Izzy," Mark settled on calling the young girl. "So you live around here? You look pretty young."

"I'm eighteen. Just very short for my age.. I'm about 5'0 on the nose, depending on the shoes," she answered. "I live on Avenue B. I actually think I've seen you.. you live in that old music producing warehouse right? I live down the street from there."

Mark squinted his eyes, as he tried to once recall Isabella being around Avenue B. He had a vague memory of her, but most of the outside world was a vague memory in the past five months.

"Yeah, I live there. I think I've seen you," Mark finally said. "I don't really know though. Haven't been out much lately.. I've been helping a friend with something."

"Ahh," Isabella said as she reached over and grabbed the small white bag with her name on it, deciding not to ask any questions. Mark was happy about that, at least she wasn't completely like Maureen. But she did like to talk about herself, especially when she caught Mark's gaze at her bag. "Ritalin. I have ADHD. Been taken it since I was like eight," she said.

"Oh I didn't ask --", Mark begin to explain but Isabella's soft giggling cut him off.

"I know. But you looked, and I don't mind sharing. It's nothing I'm ashamed of," she explained. "But if you don't mind my asking, what are you getting?"

Mark bit his lip. There was good chance he would never see this girl again, so it would be safe to tell her. But he could also see her fitting in perfectly with his group and would rather wait for Roger to tell her. "_But Roger would never do that.. and you'd have to tell her before hand in case anything happened._" the voice in the back of Mark's mind pushed. He gave in. "AZT for my roommate. There's a long story behind it that I'd rather him tell you," he explained. "That is if you stick around to make friends with us."

"Friends? I like that. I really don't have anyone here," she said. "Besides. You have a camera. I bow down to you. I love film." This was a surprise for Mark as the two of them walked out of the pharmacy. Maybe she _wasn't_ the type of girl that was perfect for Roger.. maybe she was perfect for him.

The two of them talked as they walked back to their respective "houses". Since Isabella's "apartment" was past the loft they stood in front of the door for a bit a talked a little more. They talked for about ten minutes before Mark realized he really needed to get back inside before Roger's seemingly good mood turned sour.

"Stop by when you can, alright Izzy?" Mark offered. "I can always use some help with this film."

"Sure. I'll come by next week or something. After that I'm being "kidnapped" for a while by my parents. They want me out of here," she said laughing. "It'll never happen. It may suck here. But it's home. I fit in here."

Mark smiled and waved goodbye as he walked up into the loft, pushing the door open to still see Roger out of his room. He was sitting on the couch and gave Mark a soft, sad smile.

"What took you so long?" he asked.

"Sorry. Made a new friend who lives around here. Isabella," he said. "Though she prefers to be called Izzy, Bella, or Izzybella," he added quickly with a laugh. He half expected her to climb up the fire escape if he hadn't added that. He was glad that got a little more life into Roger.

"A girl, eh?" he asked. "She cute?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah, likes film too," he said.

"Hopefully she isn't another Maureen," Roger said.

The two of them laughed. Things seemed to get back to normal now. Which suited Mark just fine, since it really hurt him to see Roger like that. It hurt him more than it should hurt a friend, however close the two people are to one another. Especially them.

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**A/N:** Okay, this ends the PreRENT stuff. PostRENT starts next chapter, two months after the end of RENT itself. Also, in order to maybe get some reviews and imputs. I have a few ideas where to go with Isabella's character which will lead to her and Mark not being together (to open way for MarkRoger of course). But I don't know what. So question.. should I have her addicted to the Ritalin just by using it since she was eight (like not abusing it), have her still on it at eighteen because she likes the high she can get, or have her getting it for someone else (who was addicted by not abusing but needs to abuse it to survive)? I'm leaning more towards the last once, since it makes her more like Mark (the caring for a friend thing) so he gives her more chances from it. But yes, that is all for now xD;


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